They say, "Sleep when the baby sleeps". And for some families, the cry it out (CIO) or the extinction method of sleep training helps babies (and parents) sleep through the night and get their much-needed rest. Here is what to know, together with tips to try it out and does it work.
What is the cry it out method?
The cry it out method is a sleep training technique that involves leaving babies alone in their cribs fully awake and allowing them to cry or fuss for as long as it takes for them to fall asleep, and not responding to them if they cry during the night. This means you won't feed to sleep, rock to sleep, or use any other help to get your baby to snooze away.
The goal of all sleep training methods is not to keep the baby from waking up during the night, nor it is for the baby to get through the whole night without feeding, but the main goal is simply to teach your baby to fall asleep on their own, outside of your arms.
When to let baby cry it out?
Generally, babies are developmentally ready to be sleep trained at 4 to 6 months. By 5 to 6 months, they can already sleep through the night without needing to eat, which makes it a good time to try the CIO method.
However, prematurely born babies or babies who are not gaining enough weight may need to wake up at night to eat until they are older. If you are unsure if your baby is ready to try the cry it out method, consult your child's doctor.
Some parents choose to start the cry it out method later, which is fine. But older babies may be more set in their sleep habits and may have a harder time learning to self-soothe.
Tips on letting baby cry it out
It might seem hard to believe, but the CIO method is very likely to be harder on you than it is on your baby. But before you get started, make sure your baby doesn't take too much or too little nap during the day, since overtired babies have a harder time falling and staying asleep. You will also need to establish a bedtime routine that doesn't include rocking or feeding to sleep.
If you are ready to try the CIO method, here's how:
- look for baby's cues that they are tired - they might rub their eyes, suck their thumb, pull at their ear, or get cranky at the same time every night. Predicting when your baby needs to sleep is the key to CIO success, ensuring you get your baby in bed before they are overtired.
- start your 30-45 minutes bedtime routine - this helps your baby relax and prepare for sleep. A good bedtime routine includes: giving your baby a bath, changing your baby's diaper, dressing your baby in a pair of pajamas, giving your baby a final feeding, reading a book, and singing a lullaby.
- put your baby in their cot every time - whether for naps or bedtime, the cot is safe and conducive to sleep and helps establish a routine.
- always put the baby down when they are awake - the main reason for sleep training is to give your baby a chance to learn how to fall asleep on their own, which requires them to be awake and not rocked to sleep. Say good night and leave the room without waiting for them to fall asleep.
- don't respond - your baby will probably cry as you leave the room or if they wake at night, let them cry for as long as it takes for them to fall asleep. Only respond if you are worried your baby is sick or injured. Get a baby monitor to reassure you that all is well. If you really need to check on your baby, leave the light off, keep your voice down and soothing, don't pick up your baby, and leave once you have determined your baby is okay, even if they are still crying.
How long should you let baby cry it out?
The objective of the CIO method is to let the baby fuss and cry until they are tired and fall asleep on their own. In the beginning, you may end up having to let your baby cry it out for 45 minutes to an hour before they go to sleep. This varies from baby to baby. Most parents find their babies cry increasingly less over the first three nights and their crying virtually ends somewhere between the fourth and seventh nights. Eventually, babies may fuss for a couple of minutes or simply quietly fall asleep.
The pros of letting baby cry it out
- safe and harmless to nighttime sleep success - teaching your baby to fall asleep on their own allows for better sleep habits without stress.
- learn independence - it's natural for babies (and adults) to wake up in the middle of the night, the CIO method trains your baby to resume sleeping on their own.
- less stress - studies have shown the CIO method reduces the stress hormone in a baby's system, which helps them build a resistance to stress. If your baby can learn to self-soothe, it's revealed that your child will stress less in the long run.
The cons of letting baby cry it out
- it is said that CIO can negatively affect the bond between a mother and the baby. The first few years of your child's life are when you show your most care and love, your baby will no longer see the mother as their protector as they are crying it out.
- those who are against the CIO method argued that letting a baby cry creates an imbalance in their stress hormone levels, which can lead to a negative impact on babies during the day, also affecting their brain development and physical growth.
- it is also debated that the CIO method has a negative effect on breastfeeding. The more the baby is being fed, the more milk is produced by the mom. It is said that there is typically a shorter supply of breast milk when CIO is practiced as the baby is being trained to sleep fast and may not breastfeed as much.
Does the cry it out method work?
Parents who practiced the CIO method on their baby often find it it is effective and the fastest route to improved sleep. Most babies begin sleeping through the night within three to four days, sometimes even faster.
Many studies have shown that the CIO method helps both babies and parents sleep better. A 2022 study found that all methods of sleep training significantly reduced children's sleep problems and improved moms' sleep quality.
However, no approach to baby sleep works for everyone as all babies are different. For some parents, the CIO method works. For others, when the tears continue and the promised sleep doesn't come, it's time to try something else. And even if it works with your firstborn, it may not do the trick with your second. The CIO method is not for everyone and that is perfectly okay.
